By Life balance and health coach Pam Wright, author of “The Fibromyalgia Coach” ISBN 9781906546014

Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company is quoted as saying “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re probably right”. So many people assume that their present reality is the way life has to be, and they believe they can do nothing about it. Looking more closely at Henry Ford’s statement and remembering it’s never too late to change, he actually meant that it’s up to you to decide what you can and cannot do. There are many readers of this column who already know that when you change your mindset you can achieve more than you originally thought was possible.

There are many legends and stories on the theme of “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again”. I’ve always believed that to succeed at the very first attempt you need to think hard, plan and take everything a step at a time as well as to build in the ‘what if’ contingency plan so that you are prepared for the worst whilst trying for the best. Then put all your effort into making it work, be ready for setbacks and changed plans, but keep the goal in view.

Too many people believe that having one shot at something and not achieving success immediately means that they are not good enough or it’s never going to happen because ‘it’s just their luck’. The Brits are ace at flagging up the worst in every situation. Where would the sale of newspapers be if only good news was allowed to be printed? We all seem to thrive on drama, whether it is our own or that of other people. The reality of life is that everyone has challenges and it is down to how we handle those challenges that makes the difference between happiness (or at least contentment) and the hell of always being miserable for whatever reason. Negativity feeds negativity. When given a chance to freefall without check, the mind and our inner thoughts have a habit of plummeting into the depths of depression. The further you go down, the longer it takes to come back up again but it is nevertheless still possible to recover if you have the determination and the right support.

So the good news is that by taking positive control and choosing to look at things differently (rather than just repeating the same behaviours over and over) you can make a huge difference to your long term outcome. One of Fibromyalgia’s most prolific and respected self-help authors, Christine Craggs- Hinton illustrated this point dramatically in her article “My Story” (FaMily magazine June 2010 www.ukfibromyalgia.com ) as she described working with a pain psychologist and completely changing her attitude to herself and her illness. She moved from being bed-ridden to living well and positively with Fibromyalgia. Nothing happened quickly, but having found what worked for her, she broke through her own self-limiting beliefs.

What is it that makes people decide to look for the right help? What is the right help for you? There is evidence of an upsurge of holistic support which in line with governmental policy involves people becoming more involved in their own health and welfare. Some areas of the UK are more committed to this policy than others. So what’s happening in your area? The Expert Patient Programme, Integrated Clinical Assessment and Treatment Service (ICATS), Hospital Pain Clinics, Lifestyle and Wellness programmes are all welcome additions to easing the plight of those affected by chronic pain.

As a professional life coach with many years of experience enabling people to feel confident to take responsibility for themselves, I started out by being my own client! Working on the practical, physical, mental and spiritual parts of my life with another trainee life coach as my support, I shifted so many ‘must do’ and ‘ought to do and be’ thoughts that were totally ingrained I wondered if I’d ever be able to think straight again. However, the freedom of thought and positivity that came from leaving the guilt, anger, grief and fear behind enabled me to make goals and work towards them at the speed I was capable of at that time (usually slow or stop!).

A recent meeting in a joint venture between the NHS and Medway Council entitled “Developing a Health and Wellbeing Strategy for Medway” was attended by Margaret and Ron Robson of The Medway Fibromyalgia Support Group. The theme of the day was ‘How do you encourage people to participate in their own wellbeing?’ The results of a survey taken in Medway showed that many residents would like to change different aspects of their lives, but when asked to identify obstacles or barriers that impeded their ability to change either their lifestyle or the way they lived answers included ‘no time; working; will power and laziness; nothing; expense of a gym; illness or pain’.

Helping people to motivate themselves in a one-to-one confidential phone call or visit is part of what I do in my work as a life coach, and is also addressed in “The Fibromyalgia Coach” book. Everyone is different, but there is always a way
to move forward. It’s all wrapped up with self-perception, self-worth and self- belief. I get a real buzz from observing my clients have their ‘light bulb moment’ which lifts their block to moving forward. Once the barriers are pushed away, the way is clear for real change and improvement to the way their life works.
However, the old saying ‘you can take a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink’ is something we all have to learn. Unless people have the nerve to pick up the phone and invest some time and money in their own future, all I can do is to keep writing about what is possible in the hope that more people will dare to step up and take their own control using whatever services are available for them.
Life balance is not either/or... it’s and! I have learnt that if I keep working on all my own personal coaching strategies and keep my health at the top of my priority list I can continue to do new things and enjoy life more than I’ve ever done. There are lots of people like me out there. When are you going to join us in feeling better?

If you’d like to find out about personal coaching, have a look at www.pamwright.org, download my brochure and contact me. The initial chat is completely free.
Pam